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An Angel's Silence

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

It's weird that in this point of time, I could not express how I truly feel. Before, when I want to cry, I will let my tears flow even if there are a lot of people around me. If I want to speak what is on my mind, I'll tell anyone tactlessly as if my mouth has endless words to utter.

My pain... my struggles... I am keeping them to myself. I don't want others to be involved. I don't want them to feel the burdens that the world is putting in me. No wonder why I have a lot of white hairs. It may be genetically passed by my parents unto me, but the stress I feel everyday makes it prominent.

I always thought that I can do things on my own. The fact is, I can't. I've always been getting my strength from the people that are dear to me. And if those people are the reasons for my missery, I would be in hell. The only reason for my existence is yet to be found. And if my future is perceived to be in nothingness since I can have no acceptance in this world... i would gladly welcome his scythe and put me to eternal rest.

Tired... At this young age...

Now, the only people that puts my smile and fill me with glee are my friends, and the person I love the most. Though at times I kept on asking myself, "are they being true to me?" Crazy, but this paranioa is killing me slowly.

I choose to keep my vain in silence. And if the right time comes... I'll let it explode.



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