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On Long Distance Relationships

Monday, October 25, 2010

A year ago, before leaving this blog, I was in a long distance while studying to finish my degree. Yes! Dagat ang pagitan namin ng partner ko that time. And the only means of communicating is internet and sometimes, cellphone.

To start with is our story, a very long one, but I had to keep it short:

I met him online and he was interested in me and sooner he will be in the Philippines. He is a Filipino too, not a foreigner. Suddenly, I figured out that he has a boyfriend. So I backed off. But we kept our communications open and we met. Little by little I realized that he doesn't have a boyfriend, he has boyfriends, yes PLURAL FORM OF BOYFRIEND. One by one, I knew them: some by names, and others personally. Knowing his status, we still dated because he is very kind and we share the same interests in music and arts. Then we became partners and he swore to me that he will not have other guys other than me. He broke up with his five (5) boyfriends and chose me (5 talaga?!). Then he flew back to where he lives in Europe.

And here are some of the dilemmas I encountered:

First Dilemma is our time zone. in which my time is ahead of his time. Try to think of this, I had to wake up or stay up to 3am just to chat with him because that is his free time. Sometimes I sleep at 6 in the morning. Bongga di ba! Considering that I am a student that time. Well, I was the one adjusting. So consequences are, I had to go to practicum with little sleep or worst, no sleep at all. I had NO time for other things such as blogging and online gaming.

Second Dilemma is "SEX". I had to be contented watching him on webcam jerking and me showing him what I am doing at the same time. Ay mga 'teh! Di ako nagmamalinis. Yes! I am doing it because I had to do it. Sometimes I can't do it because my brother is inside my room and I tried to make him understand that but he seems to be so eager on doing it.

Third Dilemma is emotional drama. Since he is older than me, I had to overcome his strong personality and understand what he is going through. Sometimes he will start the conversation by saying that he is not in a good mood, then, I will eventually lighten up the conversation. Sometimes, I will see him crying on cam because he is not feeling OK and my job is to cheer him up. Being alone in a foreign country is really frustrating.

Fourth Dilemma is miscommunication. Again, since our conversations are via online specifically in YM, we usually get a lot of misunderstanding because he will tend to interpret my messages in a wrong way. Sometimes showing your opinion on a specific subject matter gives him an impression that you are boasting. Even explaining is so hard because you are not talking personally with an eye-to-eye contact. At the end of the day, we tend to have an argument because of miscommunication.

Last Dilemma is infidelity. Worst dilemma of them all, despite the fact that I am trying hard to be so faithful, I didn't know what the person is really doing since I am not beside him. As in F*CK. I tried to use my tactics to know what he is doing and I realized that he is having an affair with other guys online too.

Then he broke up with me by using another alibi and not accepting the fact that he was unfaithful. I never met him again personally because I hate what he did. He had some items with me and my brother gave it to him because I really don't want to see him anymore. :) I blocked him in my FB and YM because I don't want to see him and his pictures with his new partner.

So as for me, Long distance relationship entails a lot of adjustments like being more patient, loyal, and understanding. I am not implying that all stories are like mine, BUT, it is a reality that it can happen to anyone else who are engaging into LDR. To continue my story, I am in a relationship right now and we will be turning one year on November. Well, that's another story.

Am I officially back into blogging? We'll see. But I assure you, I have a lot of stories to tell. :)


del said...

hi yffar its me DeL...

ok lang yan mare, let it all out.. :)
mag blog ka lang ng mag blog :) atleast we get updates about you :)

Yffar (^^,) said...

thanks mare! :) masaya naman ata magsulat ulit.

Oliver said...

uuuy ur baaaaaccccckkkk!!!

RONRIC said...

at long last manuel bumalik ka....


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