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Hanggang Dito na Lamang at Maraming Salamat: Term Ender

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

De La Salle University’s 3rd Term for School Year 2008-2009 is not yet over but I would like to create my term ender article as early as now. I might not have the time when the finals week comes in and I have to review for two (2) comprehensive final examination in Microbiology and Cell Biology (tough ones I have for this term).

I felt so awkward when I went back to school. Siyempre I had to adjust from being an employee back to being a student again. There was even a time when I wanted to return to my previous work because I miss my colleagues so much, and, also, I am so dependent, once again, to my parents. Some people would think that I am rich because I left my job to study, which is so wrong; I am living with Php.70.00 per day and I had to sell my cellphone just to purchase my textbook in Microbio and Cellbio subjects, I don’t need it anyway. Yeah right, I had the money for my tuition fee alone, na kasya sa 4 subjects. Haha. Masarap magtrabaho kasi kumikita ka ng pera, pero kailangang magbalik sa pag-aaral para magka-diploma.

At first, I was an outcast in each subject I enrolled in because they are block sections. Pero ang lola niyo ma-PR. I made new friends, specially Trish and my former high schoolmate Abby who made my return to DLSU a nice memory to ponder. Aside from them, I became close to some, but not all, of my classmates in my subjects. Wow, siyempre bakla eh. PR dito. PR dun. Naging close ko sa lahat yung mga kapwa ko "iregular". Thank goodness, there are no homophobic people in my classes. Pero there are some topics in a certain subject that deems homosexuality as immorality, saan pa, eh di sa Religion! Nagtaka ka pa. Hehehe.

I love being a student again. I had to read. Read more. And then, I have to read over and over again. This is a habit that I had to recover since the things that I have to browse before are work related like visa application, medical certificates, and even fake credentials submitted my applicants. Now, I feel the challenge of my academic life and I still have one year to adventure with by reading my reference materials.

Microbiology & Cell Biology
These are my most serious subjects. Obvious ba? Name pa lang di ba! Dito ako nagsusunog ng kilay. Pero impressively, I thought I lost my passion for Biology, but now, my neurons are craving for more mental stimulation. Echos. I can’t comment more on these courses because I can only speak of technical terms and critical life processes taught in the class. Well, the professors often assume that the students should know the concepts on Biochemistry, Botany2, or Histology, well; I don’t have those subjects in my flowchart because my degree is not a pre-med! I am a future teacher, a high school teacher. Hahaha. So I had to adapt to this kind of teaching method, well, what do you know, I’m not just passing these two subjects, I am one of the highest scorer when it comes to quizzes and long exams. Echos ulit!

RELSFOR (Religion: Christian Social Teaching)
This subject teaches us to have an advocacy for the poor. Hmmm. Ironically, I belong to the mass and I had to debate on the issues such as the main causes of poverty. Kailangang ipagtanggol no, ang iginigiit ba eh nagcocommit ng sins ang mga mahihirap dahil nagnanakaw sila. Excuse me, nagnanakaw sila dahil naghihirap sila dahil wala silang makain due to extreme poverty caused by improper allocation of wealth by the greedy and corrupt people who are in power! However, there are three incidents that occurred in the classroom strikes me the most during my term and it is a about my gender identity. The first one was when we were discussing about sins and evils when my professor declared that having a pre-marital relationship (I think it included sex) between two men is much graver than a man and a woman couple having a relationship before being married. No offense to my prof, I still love her but not the topic. Second was when I had to erase the word homosexuality TWICE and replaced it with adultery and murder in my two of my group mate’s paper to the list of crimes that needs corporal punishment in the Old Testament. Mamamatay tao ba ang mga bakla para ihelera sa abortion?!? Lastly, when a group reporting on one of the catholic encyclicals and sited that HOMOSEXUALITY IS ONE OF THE CULTURAL SINS. My professor commented, “kawawa naman sila, bakit nailagay dyan”, then the reporter answered, “because it is written in the encyclical that it is a cultural sin”. What I did was I acted as if I heard nothing, I continued reading “KUNG PAANO KO PINATAY SI DIANA ROSS” while placing the book in front ofmy face, making the picture of a GAY impersonator visible to the reporter. Deadma. Talk to Diano Ross! Charing.

LITERA (Philippine Literature)
I thought that this would be the most boring subject that I would have but contrary to this previous belief, Philippine Literature under Mr. Genaro Gojo-Cruz is a very empowering subject for me. First of all I was the class clown in this class. I would crack some jokes when people are reporting or even when we are viewing films, siyempre tatawa sila and those simple giggles and laughter are music to my ears. Ito naman ang silbi ko sa mundo, ang magpasaya ng tao. And in this subject was my first report after three years and I had to inculcate the remaining knowledge I have in teaching which eventually lead to regaining my self confidence. There are two readings that I love the most and these are “Kung Paano ko Pinatay si Diano Ross” by Rody Vera and “Hanggang Dito na Lamang at Maraming Salamat” written by Orlando Nadres. Madaming lines na sobrang ganda sa "hanggang dito na lamang", and gustong gusto ko ang character ni Julie, ang totoong pangalan ay JULIUS CEAZAR AQUINO, biruin mo, same pa kami ng surname! Both literary works discusses homosexuality and the struggle for acceptance. BONGGA! NAKARELATE AKO. Siyempre best in recitation ang lola niyo. Napag-usapan kasi lahat gaya ng mga GAY LINGO wherein bentang benta ang word na LOTLOT AND FRIENDS.

I love my Literature class. Sobra!

Lastly, I voted for Vernon of Santugon for VP Activities in the Student Council Election. He is gay and unfortunately he lost. I love his speech that whatever he is (pertaining to his gender identity) it is the leadership he offers to his fellow students that matters. I wanted him to win, sobra. Last year a gay candidate run but eventually lost to the incoming student council president. Did they lose because of what they are? But how come Simoun Ferrer won the presidency? I wasn't there so I can't tell. I did not vote straight despite of my political affiliation. Let them condemn and hate me for my vote yet I will stand for what I think is right and to conform is something I can not do. I am now apolitical.


Three years. Yeah. That was a long time of waiting. But it paid off. Because my three years of being out from the academe brought fort a new chapter in my life and that is my enlightenment which gave me a new purpose to live for. And that is to be of help to my people. People like me who needed guidance and comfort upon venturing to the fierce world of uncertainty and unacceptance and hoping that one day, alam mo na, cliché na nga toh eh, tanggapin na ng buong mundo kung ano ako. Kung ano tayo. Yun lang. Tatlong taon akong nawala sa school, and pagbalik ko, hindi na ako ang Raffy na naglilihim kung ano ako! Ang ako na hindi nasabi kay Louis Pieraz na minsan sa buhay ko naminahal ko siya dahil wala akong lakas ng loob at pilit na isinusulat sa mga tulang kinimkim na lamang sa limot. Nakakaloka! Tanggap ko na sa sarili ko kung ano ako. Tanggapin man ako o hindi ng lipunang ginagalawan ko.


Hanggang dito na lamang at maraming salamat!

3 comments:

Gram Math said...

"Excuse me, nagnanakaw sila dahil naghihirap sila dahil wala silang makain due to extreme poverty caused by improper allocation of wealth by the greedy and corrupt people who are in power!"

at some point this is true however people are poor because they don't work, others are born poor and didn't anything about it. a lot of rags to riches story could tell us that this people who are used to be poor before become what they are now not because of their government but because they have fight poverty themselves.

LoF said...

Poverty is a function of our economic system. Hard work does not correlate to success and upward class mobility, luck does. If hard work was the cause of wealth, the Philippines and the rest of the Global South would have a average standard of living higher than that of the Global North. I agree that the government is not solely to blame, but most of the harshest effects of poverty could be eliminated if the government disciplined all segments of civil society and was not simply used as a mechanism of competition between competing rich families for the country's wealth.

---
Yffar, Being a nontraditional student is much better because you can use your life experience to better assimilate more information and some of the significant questions of life presented by teenage hormones have been resolved!

Ron Rajiv said...

dear manuel,,

its ok to pursue your studies to reach your dreams.. and remember maintain your dignity.. study hard.. reach your goal in life.. God Bless..
Go! Go! Go!..

 
 
 

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